1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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