I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just found puke in my bra..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This is my life. Enjoy the view
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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