Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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