Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
