I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
