Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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