She announced her abortion via fbk
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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