already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
