Tell her she can't have a vagina
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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