Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
