So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
