i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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