is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
