something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
