I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
