She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I can't put those talents on a resume
She has the best kind of daddy issues
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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