Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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