Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
