Nicole vs. Life
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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