Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
