yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
