My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I touched a dick in church today
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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