you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
