I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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