It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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