I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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