I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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