R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
