there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
