ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
