Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
