Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
