Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
