We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
