It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
