She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
