I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I party with great urgency now.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
