I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
