The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What a dumb baby whore.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
