how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
