fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
