i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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