I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
