I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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