i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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