i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
