i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i wish my penis had a tongue
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
