just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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