Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
