I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
