Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
