remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
