I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
